Alice’s Adventures in Naturaland, and Through the Isinglass
by Ron Washam
Chapter One: Down the Rabbit Hole Alice was getting very tired of sitting by herself on the bank. Though she was usually by herself, unless she was at a wine...
Ron Washam
At a tender age, Ron turned away from a career as a comedy writer to become a sommelier. One could say he prefers spitting to gagging. He served nineteen years as a sommelier in Los Angeles, and was twice named Sommelier of the Year by the California Restaurant Writers Association, primarily because he was unbeatable in the swimsuit competition. He also serves as a professional wine judge in many formerly prestigious competitions. He is one of only one HoseMaster of Wine in the world and writes a monthly satirical column for timatkin.com
Articles by Ron Washam
The truth about the 1976 Judgment of Paris
by Ron Washam
Forty years later, it’s time to finally reveal that the Paris Tasting of 1976 was staged, much like Neal Armstrong’s phony moon landing, Elvis Presley’s death and auction wines. Furthermore,...
A visit to the World’s Greatest Wine Library
by Ron Washam
Here it is 2095, and I’m only now visiting the World’s Greatest Wine Library. Its vastness is daunting, its resources unparalleled. On that shelf, the first wine book ever published....
Ageing wine critics
by Ron Washam
It’s a question from wine novices that comes up repeatedly. Just how do we know how long to age our wine critics? Furthermore, how can we tell which wine critics...
Wine Trends for 2016
by Ron Washam
What will be the most important, most newsworthy trends in the wine business in 2016? What trends and events will trigger every idea-less wine blogger to take to his keyboard...
How to build a great wine cellar
by Ron Washam
You don’t need a lot of money to create a great wine cellar. Any more than you need teeth to recite Shakespeare. Or fingers to go bowling. They just help...
Which wine goes with erectile dysfunction?
by Ron Washam
There’s an annoying trend in wine writing to recommend wines to accompany experiences other than dining. Specific wines with specific music, for example. How much sense does that make? Though...
Rejected Entries for “The Oxford Companion to Wine”
by Ron Washam
I’m feeling a bit disappointed. I just opened the Fourth Edition of “The Oxford Companion to Wine” and not a single one of my entries was published. Admittedly, Jancis Robinson...
The Wine Time Capsule from 2015
by Ron Washam
I’m not sure what motivated my ancestor to bury a wine time capsule back in 2015, but I felt that after two hundred years it was time to dig it...
Riedel me this
by Ron Washam
In this piece, US-based wine writer Ron Washam pokes fun at Riedel, the wine glass company, a brand that I respect and use personally. This is a piece of satire....
A letter from the Publisher of Le Pan Magazine
by Ron Washam
Hello Le Pan is the only wine magazine that answers the questions to which real wine connoisseurs need answers. Is my private jet a good place to store my First...
Jefford on Mundane: Palate and Column Fatigue
by Ron Washam
How do you maintain your nose? Your tongue is your most important tool, but whose box do you keep it in? How often do you need a liver transplant? And...